I’m sitting in our garden and I’m feeling a bit chilly. I’ve done that thing of thinking ‘wouldn’t it be nice to sit out in the sun whilst I write the blog’, but the reality is that when the sun comes out I can’t see a thing on my screen and when it goes behind a cloud I feel a bit chilly and want to go in. I’m persevering. A bit like the very rare occasions I decide to have a bath. I say rare because I honestly think the last time I had a bath was circa. 2006.
And I tell you for why (that’s my Nessa impression for the beady eyed Gavin & Stacey fans amongst you). Because every time I decide to go for it, imagining myself sinking into a hot, bubble filled bath, my muscles instantly softening and becoming one of those people you see on the tv, elegantly soaking whilst sipping a glass of wine and reading a book, usually about a middle-aged woman ‘finding herself’ when she legs it off to Morocco having walked out on her good-for-nothing husband (excuse any typos, I’m literally squinting to write this now the sun has reappeared, my forehead wrinkles will not thank me for this. Or maybe they will, maybe wrinkles LIKE to be wrinkly, because that’s what they’re designed to do, so any encouragement from computer screen squinting or otherwise is a bonus for them. It’s my not very affordable retinol cream that will be laughing at me from the cupboard knowing it’s fighting a losing battle).
Anyway…where was I, Morocco, yes. So that’s how I envisage my bath, so I start to fill it. But then whilst it fills and I get myself organised with said dreamy book and wine, the hot water depletes. And my bath becomes tepid. No one likes a tepid bath. But having committed to this bath, and it’s half full with tepid water I need to keep going otherwise it’d be a horrid waste of tepid water. So I then spend the next half an hour going up and downstairs, filling the kettle and pouring lime-scaley water into my bath. By the time I’ve brought the temperature up to an ‘it’ll do’ temperature I’m really not feeling it. But I’ve committed to this. So in I get. And then immediately out again as I’ve left my book on the other side of the bathroom so I splash out to get my book, soaking half the bathroom, and then in again. Finally. I’m in. Now what. Oh yes I’m meant to sip wine. Done. Now what? Read book.
Now, is it just me or does anyone else really struggle to do this without getting your book really soggy? I don’t have one of those fancy bath/book/wine stands that seem to be de rigeur because the cost per use when you have a bath once a decade really doesn’t stack up (“neither does your face cream mate”, I can hear it saying from the cupboard). So my book is soggy, my wine glass is empty, the water temperature is rapidly decreasing and the bath wasn’t full enough in the first place so half of me is cold. And I’ve got limescale in all the wrong places. For info – limescale is not an effective exfoliator (I’m so glad I’ve just deleted the paragraph I went on to write about the potential advantages to using limescale as an exfoliator. Utterly ridiculous Megan). And then I just get a bit bored. And wrinkly (again), and cold. So I get out.
And that, my sourdough loving friends, is why I don’t have a bath very often.
Ha – I’m imaging the poor people that have recently signed up to the MMB blog thinking they’re going to get a fascinating insight into the inner workings of MMB and maybe some top tips on making the perfect sourdough loaf (no such thing) but they get this instead. Haha! Apologies. Although if you do like my somewhat off-piste ramblings and fancy letting a friend or two know, and suggest they sign up to future exhilarating updates that’d make me very happy. Thank you.
My Mum asked me earlier why I hadn’t sent a blog out yet this week and I responded saying it was because I didn’t have anything interesting to write about and didn’t want to write for the sake of it. Bet you’re glad now that I suddenly found my muse aren’t you! Tepid baths.
Far more relevant, I can confirm that MMB will be open again on Saturday with Jeff at the helm. And what is also relevant AND exciting is that we will have Double Cheese as a special, alongside Walden Whites, Super Sours and Rugbrøds. Jeff will be ready to fling open the hatch at 11am so do pop down and see him for some sourdough if you can. It makes him happy to see other people apart from his fiery, redheaded, female-heavy family. And it helps keep a small business afloat during these testing times. Thank you.
I hope you are all keeping safe and well. I miss you.